Your Status is Annoying |





01.Mar.2010 #386




Hey! Watching the deterioration of this whirlwind romance in reverse is just like that movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!

Except Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind didn’t make me want to GOUGE MY EYES OUT@)#($*)!$!@!!

According to our submitter J, this all happened in about the span of a week. Thanks for sending — compiling the TWENTY SIX screen captures must have taken forever and we appreciate the effort.

There are 21 Comments to "#386"

  • Ever says:

    Oh my GOODNESS. D: I read maybe… about two of them, and then I just… wanted to comment… then… it never ENDED. After a long and perilous journey through Cling Monger Mountains, I have arrived at the point of being able to comment!

    But… yeah. Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone, but seriously? SERIOUSLY. Gahh.

  • weregoat says:

    gotta love tyler’s input. I think “Creeper” defines him very well

  • Amanda says:

    Wow, I wonder why she broke up with him? Stalking is SOOOOOOO sexy. If they had a kid this is the kind of guy who would want to eat the placenta. What a creepy dude.

  • g says:


  • ladycrim says:

    Creeeepy. (also sad, pathetic, loser …) Girlfriend must have needed a crowbar to get him away from her.

    I miss my sweetie when I’m at work too, but I don’t post on Facebook mooning about it!

  • Ondine says:

    Jon “the trained killer” Buchanan’s last name isn’t blocked out.

    But wow. If this was what the FB statuses were like, just imaigine what he was like in person…

  • Jesus eff. I got a headache after reading 2 of these. Who is stupid/disrespectful enough to put their relationship crap on FB? Much of the universe, apparently.

  • Katie says:

    Oh my God I can’t believe I actually read all this. I have a fb friend just like this though. Someday, I will be bored enough to compile 26 screen captions. Lol.

    Btw!! His overuse of exclamation points!!! Is really annoying!!!! OMG!!!! As is everything else about him!! So I guess I’m nitpicking!!

    I would dump him after reading one of these statuses. End story.

  • Mike says:

    I felt ill half way through. I think this guy really needs to wake up and smell the coffee

  • Kore says:

    I stopped reading this one half way through. Annoying and boring, what a package deal.

  • Hannah says:

    Case in point why I loathe 90% of the facebook population.

  • ant says:

    Wow. I can’t believe he’s still got any friends on Facebook. I’d have deleted his ass after a few if these stupid posts

  • Amber says:

    I got too bored to read it all.

  • Mistletoe says:

    He’s the Facebook equivalent of this guy:

  • cap says:

    She “returned his feelings” the way you nod and smile at a crazy person….Try not to piss them off, back up slowly, then RUN LIKE HELL!!

  • Lucy says:

    please let me be the woman to break through his tower of defenses…bc like he’s sooooooooooooooooo worth it!!!! and I know he’ll be my strong sexy boyfriend that I’ve been waiting for.

    like gag me.

  • Mary says:

    I would expect his next status to be about sneaking into her bed at night and impregnating her. that way she CAN’T leave him. merely a suggestion.

  • Phishphinger says:

    I’d love to read the shitty poetry all this heartache no doubt provoked.

  • Frenchie says:

    I give up….this is way to many updates for me to read

  • arcana07 says:

    OMG. One *week*, you said? This would be bad enough if it took place within a span of four months, let alone a week. Please let Chris find someone just as co-dependent and creepy stalkerish as he so they can be happy together and leave the rest of us alone.

  • Abs says:

    Completely painful. That poor poor girl. Most likely she’ll have to fake her death so she can rebuild her life on some tropical island where there’s no contact with the outside world.

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