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19.Apr.2010 #446

thanks,_i_just_vomited

Whoever this lucky guys is, I’m sure he is shitting his pants right now. Let’s hope he is Facebook friends with Tiffany so he can see what he’s getting himself into.

In case you didn’t have time to read the whole post, let me assure you, this status update has everything:

  • A 30 year-old-ex-virgin who lives with her parents and works at Walmart (which would not be such a big deal if she wasn’t also…)
  • A 30 year-old-ex-virgin who is ready to move out of her house and quit her job the second she gets her cherry popped
  • A peanut gallery who seems to think that a wall posting convo = intervention
  • A pretty intense intervention
  • Jerry Springeresque arguing
  • Asinine zingers about virginity, sex, and dicks that make the zingerette sound too immature to know what any of those things are
  • Words of wisdom encapsulating everything this blog stands for (See Earnest, second to last comment)

Thanks for sending, J!

11 Comments
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There are 11 Comments to "#446"

  • Ever says:
    April 19, 2010 at 10:09 am

    GUYS, LAY OFF OF TIFF

    SHE’S REALLY HAPPY

    AND ALSO VERY VERY STUPID

    GAH, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES

  • ladycrim says:
    April 19, 2010 at 10:26 am

    “OMGthisguyhadsexwithmenowwe’regonnarunawayandlivehappilyeverafter!!!!!!!!!!!”

    I seriously thought this was a teenager until I got to the “I’m 30″ part.

  • Anonymous says:
    April 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    I like the 3,000 times she says she’s 30 or “almost 30.” This is not something you should be bragging about!

    And OMG, if anyone I’m remotely friends with on fb would post about their virginity, I would hop in my car and drive to WHEREVER they are so I could personally punch them in the face. I kind of want to now. She just raped my eyes. Ew.

  • Anonymous says:
    April 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    OMG this is beyond disgusting. she has to be retarded… 30 years old, working at walmart, living with mom and dad, and posting to the ENTIRE world that she’s finally lost her virginity.

    for the love of god shawn, run for the hills.

  • ant says:
    April 19, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    I <3 what Anonymous said! This Tiffany girl is a NUUUUUTCASE! I see an Afterschool Special about her coming soon.

  • Kore says:
    April 20, 2010 at 3:21 am

    Sweet mother of mystery! I hope that Tiffany did not get pregnant.

  • OldPandaDayz says:
    April 21, 2010 at 9:13 am

    I think Tiff’s final comment says it all: “I made a decision that is for me not anyone else”– Which is exactly why you should always post personal life changing decisions on your Facebook feed.

  • Lit says:
    April 21, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    This has got to be the saddest/ vomit inducing/ most retarded shit I’ve ever heard (read).

  • Rick says:
    April 24, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    I think Tiff’s final comment says it all: “I made a decision that is for me not anyone else”– Which is exactly why you should always post personal life changing decisions on your Facebook feed.

  • weregoat says:
    April 24, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    i submitted this, and i just found out this was a hack. yikes….

  • Dick Harris says:
    July 15, 2010 at 1:07 am

    This reminds me of the kind of girl who fucks a guy then gets pregnant to keep him.

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