A note from our submitter, J (thanks!):
Okay, I have to submit this guy. Not only is his Facebook page a litany of edgy statements about hating the environment, fuck the polar bears and carbon offsetting and hang all criminals, but he thinks he is a character because he comes out with misogynistic crap all the time. Even more annoying is that he screws up the ‘[Name] likes your status’ meme with that rogue apostrophe.
Why am I friends with him? Because I work with him now and he added the entire team, including the manager, on the first day. Awkward. >:|
Awkward, indeed. Friending your coworkers on your first day of work and then letting your trashy, uneducated self all hang out Facebook style is like bringing a Swastika briefcase to the office or getting a white pride tattoo on your first day. To maintain a little bit of professionalism, let’s start with at least spelling status updates right and avoiding topics like fucking polar bears. (WHO HATES POLAR BEARS?!?!) If you don’t have anything non-idiotic to say, don’t say anything at all. Nobody handed you the mic.
And remember the groups you join reveal a lot about your personality. And if your personality sucks, you need to hide the evidence. That’s why I compulsively join groups like “Locks of Love,” “Old-People Appreciation Day Should Be Every Day,” and “I Love Puppies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It’s an easy way to adjust your image when you’re in need of some positive PR.
Or if you just want to disguise the fact that you’re a total nut wipe.
Note: I cannot read the text in Keith’s profile pic — can you? I’m dying to know what it says. Let’s just assume, though, that it’s fantastic. Any guesses?