Churn my stomach? Don’t be silly.
A stomach churn sounds lovely compared to what happened when I read your update. I fuckin’ CUT OUT MY UTERUS WITH A JACK-O-LANTERN CARVER. Because if “appreciating this” is what happens when you become a parent, you can count me out.
I didn’t think I was going to have to do this, but let’s add these words to the list of shit I NEVER ever EVER want to see in my update feed again:
- runny poop
- peed out her butt
- yeast infection
- butt threw up
- little red bumps (in reference to vaginas)
Can moms should have their own Facebook now? They’re ruining ours.
Thanks for sending, V. I guess.