I’m posting these statuses with the following warning for you single, back-stabbing, man-stealing ladies out there:
CRAIG’S MINE. I will beat anyone’s ass into the ground who might get in my way of being Craig’s girlfriend. From here on out, I will be talking about “My Boyfriend” a lot, and you’ll know who I mean. Let’s be honest: he swept me off my feet. Back off, bitches.
(Thanks for submitting, C!)