I’m posting these statuses with the following warning for you single, back-stabbing, man-stealing ladies out there:
CRAIG’S MINE. I will beat anyone’s ass into the ground who might get in my way of being Craig’s girlfriend. From here on out, I will be talking about “My Boyfriend” a lot, and you’ll know who I mean. Let’s be honest: he swept me off my feet. Back off, bitches.
(Thanks for submitting, C!)
ladycrim says: And they say girls get whiny and desperate after a breakup?
Phanny says: Oops. Looks like you forgot to mark out Craig’s face and name on one of the posts. Now we can all message him about how pathetic he is and how he makes us all sick!
admin says: Oh, is my face red. It’s fixed now. Thanks for having my back. I suck.
Joy says: In the immortal words of Whitney… Hell yes. I’m single, I’m desperate, and as soon as one of you bitches turns your back, I will flirt with — and steal — yo man.
Jessie says: I’m thinking this entire slew of status things needs to be set to the haunting tune of”I wanna know what love is”
it really is a power ballad moment
Frenchie says: someone get this dude a dog, peanut butter, and a right hand
Andrea says: Nothing lights up my panty area like a globally broadcasted request for a text, because I know he secretly means me and only me.
[...] blogging about how much I dislike you right now, and you haven’t even been hitting on my boyfriend. How hot is your boyfriend, [...]
[...] for you I am not available because I have A Boyfriend. No Comments Tags: Cancel ReplyWrite a [...]
Lauren the Lurker says: Matt’s poon comments FTW!
[...] me spankybuns is actually a sickening petname for Carolyn’s boyfriend. For the record: if my boyfriend ever let me call him spankybuns on Facebook, I’d assume he had turned into a big girlie sissy [...]
[...] Got is not as hot as my boyfriend Craig. [...]
