Dude, bro, seriously? At least we’ve got our goals in line with reality. I’m personally going for the same proportions as the animated version of Optimus Prime. Any tips? Thanks for sending, B.
What was submitted (thanks N!): What I see:
For all of you who went out and made meaningful connections and engaged in thought provoking conversations yesterday, who volunteered or learned something or danced or played skee ball or ate pizza or did jeagerbombs or whatever — it’s time to start feeling jealous of Mike. He jerked off and watched TV, proving that staying [...]
Boners and biceps. Fuck yeah. Thanks to J. for submitting!
Instructions for Mike: 1. Look up Hooked On Phonics. 2. Start a blog for your ramblings, and then don’t tell anyone the URL so that nobody has to read it. 3. Go have sex with Kane. You guys are totally gay for eachother. Thanks for submitting, B!
I must admit, I was excited to see this status update in the old inbox this morning. It’s hard for me to concentrate on how annoying Jonathan is — that six pack is sort of distracting. But then I read the accompanied text, written by our submitter, J (thanks!): OK so this falls under the [...]
Wow. No offense to all you ladies out there – but I did not realize that men could be as obnoxious about this shit as women. Tyler: no one feels bad for you for having “such a kick-ass swimmers body,” so much so, in fact, that you can’t fit into normal human clothing. You go [...]
We know that Emily is obsessed with the gym, but she’s really jumped the shark. I’m not your momma but girl, keep that white upper thigh to yourself. Maybe I’m just upset because I’m not making as much progress as Emily. I’ve totally plateaued. But then again, I look like this.