My major issue with these status updates: how are Milk Duds poison on the inside? Also what did we tell you about quoting yourself, J Daniels? Thanks to J. for submitting!
“If you’re going to quote yourself, at least make it somewhat coherent.” –Your Status is Annoying Thanks for submitting, J!
Read this post, then go home to your boyfriend, or best friend, or wife, or mom, or lover/pool boy, and thank them for not being Melyssa. They may not know what you are talking about, but after reading this submission (from A — thanks!), I am aware how grateful I am for my friends, and [...]
I don’t really get what this list is, but I’m pretty sure you’d be at the top of mine.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about Patrick’s post reminds me of Parker’s. Is it because both have names that start with the letter “P?” The world may never know. BTW, guys. Check out the tags on this post. When I say “Unnecessary Vag Reference”, I’m talking about you. You are [...]
“Interesting to note that according to our submitter, Taylor does not have a girlfriend.” -Your Status Is Annoying Thanks for sending, J!
Omigoddddddd! Joseph is OBVI flirting with me — how embarrassing for his girlfriend. You’d think it would frustrate me but I can just laugh it off — HA HA HA HA HA HA! Sorry, sweet cheeks. I have a boyfriend named Craig and he is like sooooOOooo hot. Also, mind your own beeswax, AMBER. Constant [...]
I durrn everen know wat Jodii is tryngwa to sauy. Youur donet evenr know. Yourr donet evenr know. Booooozwe. Thinnnsk to minica firr submsaetting thius demonstration of druinknuess.
I was going to make Jessica a great offer. For only $10,000 a day, she could call me every morning and I would say, “Jessica. You are hottest, most gorgeous human being on the face of the earth, but you are also like soooo nice and humble. Due to everyone else’s insecurities, you are under [...]