WEIRD-O-RAMMA!!!!!!!! These are all posts from different readers (thanks, guys!) so it’s just one HUGE FUCKIN’ COINCIDENCE that Amy, Stacey #1, Melissa, Stacey #2 and Ethan are ALL friends with this one, masked facebooker challenging everbody’s faith. WHO IS THIS GUY!?!? We’ll get you, you little dipshit! We’re all onto you!
God is not as hot as my boyfriend Craig. Thanks to A. for submitting!
Yep. That’s exaaaaactly what Jesus would do, T. The Son of Man would be proud. If you’re going to undermine your Facebook friends by “correcting” their status updates with entire Bible verses like T, please include the entire BIBLE. IN ARABIC. IN A COCKNEY ACCENT. WHILE YOU ARE SWALLOWING SWORDS. F you, T. Your Christianity [...]
And so it continues. Chris: I didn’t know that pregnancy was a preexisting condition… perhaps you missed the part of the bill where it states that no federal funds will be used for elective abortions. Brooks: God just texted me and said that you need to Wikepedia “communism.” He also said you need to cool [...]
“No one isw going a a-bull 2 pay 4 it it will be 2 hi 4 everyone.” – B I guess those House of Representatives really should have paid closer attention to the flawless logic of A and B before they passed that bill. I just hope our amazing submitter, R., is saved “’cause it’s [...]
Oh yeah? Well I spoke directly to God last night too. He texted me. Twice. And to be honest, I don’t know why Sarah, Austin and Becky think he’s so amazing. He wouldn’t even commit to skyping with me tonight. Whatevs. Thanks to I. for submitting!
Four sentences into this status, I thought, “sounds like something a meth addict would say.” And then I hear the words “crash cource to death!!!!!” “walking miracle!!!” and the accompanying message from our submitter: GAHHH!! Your religion is annoying! This guy is a recovering meth addict!!! He’s happy to be alive!!! HAM SANDWICHES!!! He’s very [...]
Hey, lady. I only get a certain number of prayers and they are not all going to you. Todd, I’ll tell you what you could do. Give Kay a tittie twist or something — anything to snap her into reality. I mean, they just rescued a Haitian earthquake survivor from the rubble 27 days after [...]
I don’t know what Jesus Would Really Do, but I do know he definitely spoke English, and he would have copy and pasted this message in his status. Jesus sought the company of lepers and sinners, not Mexican people. I mean please. The man had standards. Thanks for sending, S!
And after I find HER I’m gonna go be a racecar driver in NASCAR, YEAHHHH!!! Then I’m gonna join the Military, Party Up Yeah Rock N Roll!!! I’m gonna listen to that Warrior song by Kid Rock and then fight Al Qaeda Yeah baby!! JESUS CHRIST, FUCK YEAHHHH!!! Thanks from anonymous!