God is not as hot as my boyfriend Craig. Thanks to A. for submitting!
This is how Peter decided to celebrate the birth of America: drunk FBing (seemingly alone.) Molly Elizabeth is awake, though, but sad. Could she be Peter’s sweetheart? If I were Peter’s girlfriend (which I’m not, wink, wink, CRAIG), I would be sad, too. Depressed, really. I’d feel as if the entire idea of freedom and [...]
Omigoddddddd! Joseph is OBVI flirting with me — how embarrassing for his girlfriend. You’d think it would frustrate me but I can just laugh it off — HA HA HA HA HA HA! Sorry, sweet cheeks. I have a boyfriend named Craig and he is like sooooOOooo hot. Also, mind your own beeswax, AMBER. Constant [...]
Gross. Due to the pervasive pretentiousness and mega who-gives-a-shit factor of this post, I can only assume that Craig Brian really needs to get laid. (I am not offering my own services — as you are well aware, I have a Really Hot Boyfriend Named Craig.) Thanks for sending, I!
Based upon previous posts, I had assumed that mashed potatos [sic] was sex, penne was Carolyn’s boyfriend’s penis, and spankybuns was a sticky and sweet Pillsbury dessert. I mean, right? But the our submitter A (thanks!) informed me spankybuns is actually a sickening petname for Carolyn’s boyfriend. For the record: if My Boyfriend ever let [...]
Now before we get too hasty with our judgments (thanks to our submitter AK, who added the artwork in red…), let it be known that Amy’s boyfriend’s name really is Peezy Weezy Poo. Not only that, it turns out Peezy Weezy Poo does not feel the same about Amy. Exhibit A:
Well which is it, BROOKE? Rip out my hair and curb stomp my fayce or blog about how much you dislike me? There’s a huge difference. I mean, I’m blogging about how much I dislike you right now, and you haven’t even been flirting with My Boyfriend. How hot is your boyfriend, anyway? Thanks for [...]
I’m posting these statuses with the following warning for you single, back-stabbing, man-stealing ladies out there: CRAIG’S MINE. I will beat anyone’s ass into the ground who might get in my way of being Craig’s girlfriend. From here on out, I will be talking about “My Boyfriend” a lot, and you’ll know who I mean. [...]